Would you marry someone before coffee? I think probably not. That is a pretty important decision.
You’d want to sit down first, ask a few questions, understand who they are and most importantly, see if you actually connect.
Love and Marriage most of us understand. That is important for sure. In my on move to the Real Estate profession years ago, I still to this day wonder why people on both sides are so loose with precision and compentence in this business. The barriers to entry are low but the barrier to excellence is super high. And yet even a very skilled doctor with perhaps weak bedside manner does not do the most operations.
The weaker agents sometimes have great sales records. They have polish and panache but the buckle under the scrutiny of a more strategic real estate professional asking them questions about how they present an offer or how they wrote their own language in the additional clauses section and that language is not only risky but wrong. Or I wonder if the general consumer cares about that and the general state of this industry at the average where the transaction is the purpose and the precision be damned.
And yet, under the new NAR rules that took effect in August of 2024, many buyers are being told that before they tour a single home, they need to sign a binding buyer broker agreement. Some states required it already. Some do not.
And I 100% disagree with the buyer brokerage agreement process that I see many say they are following. “I got em on a buyer brokerage agreement for all purchases made in Florida for the next 10 years”. Really? That is essentially what many are encouraged to do.
To me that is not the correct method.
Let’s Clear This Up
Yes the new rule says that agents and buyers must have a written agreement on compensation before showings begin and an agreement to show homes. Well more precisely a written agreement to show a home and compensation is not a pure requirement.
Certainly absent stating compensation a real estate professional representing a buyer is running a risk. If you just met someone outside of a first home you intend to show, then you are running multiple risks. But no it does not require a full-blown, long-term buyer brokerage contract for an agent to show a home.
There’s another option: the limited-purpose showing agreement.
It does one simple thing: it allows you to tour a few homes with an agent without locking you into a long-term commitment. It gives both sides space to build trust, evaluate fit, and decide if there’s value in moving forward together.
In other words, you are able to have coffee before the wedding. Indeed on our team, I much prefer that our real estate professionals have “coffee” well before a first showing.
The Risk Isn’t the Paper It’s the Premature Promise
A buyer broker agreement, in the right context, can be a great thing. It means everyone is on the same page. Expectations are clear and incentives are aligned.
When you execute that or a showing agreement is critical. Shouldn’t it be after you have checked compatibility? What about strategic thinking at all does that matter? Is that important to you that a person is competent. You know in this industry being competent makes you great by comparison.
Brilliant and yet simple.
But signing that kind of agreement with someone you just met like some will do?
The weaker real estate professionals are not seeking a trusted relationship. They are seeking locking you in. In locking you in they do not have to improve demeanor or skills. The skills they have to improve are those that cause you to sign the agreement to be locked in. If they are well scripted, have some volume behind them and are “empathetic” you will sign up and have no idea what the comps are in our area.
Mind you, our business clientele has within it a fair number of people that were very unhappy with their past experiences with other real estate professionals. We have encountered it all.
You see we stick to our knitting. Competition in our industry is not about us rolling over and changing our methods for each client to meet what they want to do. Our strength is in being comfortable to know that a person that wants someone just to unlock doors is someone we are not compatible with. The competition in the market with different real estate teams and people will allow that person to find the door unlocker.
What Confident Agents Do Differently
A confident, seasoned professional doesn't fear transparency. They welcome it.
They’re not desperate for a signature but instead they’re eager to earn your trust and have the dialog. The will write the very direct email that tells a person how they do business and they will not waiver. And they know that if they do the work well, you’ll want to continue. But they also know that some people do not respond to objective data or clear communications. They want the “Don’t you just love it” experience. That is available. But not with all teams.
That’s why we often use showing agreements to start. No pressure. Just clarity.
We want you to experience what it’s like to work with us before you commit to something long-term. How do we think? Is it compatible with your thinking? Can we listen well enough to find a home to show you or are we only capable to show you homes that you have identified on Zillow? Because you see this isn’t just about showing houses it is also about knowing our market and our homes. It’s about strategy, insight, and understanding what you’re really trying to find.
I cannot tell you how often we get comments about how knowledgable we are from others. Does it mean they all work with us? No. We have knowledgable buyers that come to us and like what we say and do very well but want to be “Unrepresented”. Thats ok. The market provides that service. We however, do not.
This Isn’t About Fear — It’s About Fit
The NAR rule is designed to protect buyers from hidden compensation structures and encourage more transparency. We support that. What we do not really support is a unilateral conditionally cancellable buyer broker agreement.
Now to be sure a nefarious cancellation because you found a home and decided you wanted to ditch the buyer agent and go to the listing agent because they promise a discount on the buyer side commission is bad behavior by a would be buyer. But it is not the job of a document to protect an agent from that behavior. It is coffee and gauging the true heart of an individual.
Let’s not confuse structure with trust.
You deserve to know who you're working with.
You deserve to feel confident, not cornered.
You deserve to make informed decisions — about homes and about representation.
The agent you sign with should welcome your questions, offer alternatives, and let their value speak louder than their contract. Indeed a real estate professional should also be confident in their ability to select clients with whom to work.
Final Thought: Start With Coffee
If you’re thinking about buying a home this year, remember this:
Trust is built through a hand shake and a conversation that indeed may have awkward moments and challenging exchange. But designed to find out who the person is with whom you may be working or indeed “marrying” is worth the effort. Do not sign away your independence as a home buyer or even as a real estate professional in the first meeting.
Take your time. Ask the questions. Start with a showing agreement if that feels right. And make sure that whoever you choose is there to help you win not just win your signature. Both sides deserve the right to know their relationships are proper and a confident buyer will want to test the waters as will a confident real estate professional.
Subscribe for More
If this resonated with you, I invite you to subscribe to my Substack.
Hello, I enjoy your articles. One small typo, I believe, in the Final Thoughts section. Should that be “hand shake”?