Walking Down Stairs Part 2 - #1 Reason why Your Goal is Unreachable
The Trash Can Theory
What Tossing Paper in a Bin Can Teach Us About Success and the Need to or Lack thereof to set Goals.
There’s a strange magic that happens when you toss a piece of paper across the room into a trash can.
You crumple it up. You glance at the bin. You flick your wrist.
Swish. Nailed it.
No whiteboard session. No training montage. No YouTube tutorial on “How to Achieve Maximum Arc.”
You just throw. You just know.
And ironically, if you do try too hard—if you tense your arm, overcorrect your aim, analyze the wind resistance from the ceiling fan—you’ll probably miss. Or you’ll hesitate. Or you’ll never throw at all.
This is what I call The Trash Can Theory:
There are moments in life when trying less works better.
Because some things don’t require effort—they require access.
We’re Not Wired to Overthink Everything
What makes tossing paper into a bin so successful—at least some of the time—is that it taps into unconscious competence. Your brain and body know what to do. They’ve done it a thousand times. You’re not thinking about elbow angles or parabolic trajectories. You’re just moving. You’re just doing.
The same applies in business.
In love.
In leadership.
In life.
Some of your most important decisions won’t come from brute force planning. They’ll come from noticing a moment, acting intuitively, and being present enough to respond—not react, not over-engineer, just respond.
But Wait—Isn’t Success Supposed to Be Hard?
We’ve been fed the myth that all success is supposed to feel like a grind. If it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t count. If it’s not measured and tracked and gritted through, it must not be real.
But what if that’s just… wrong?
What if the moments of ease aren’t lesser, but higher?
What if the smooth decisions—the ones that feel obvious, even light—aren’t shortcuts but signals?
What if ease is intelligence in motion?
Of course, this doesn’t mean effort is useless. There’s a time for rigor. There’s a time to go deep, to prepare, to revise, to push. But if your default setting is always effortful… it might be worth asking why.
Because sometimes the best results come when we stop gripping so tightly.
When we trust our instincts.
When we make the throw—not because we’re certain, but because we’re ready enough.
When You’re Over-Efforting, It Shows
We all know what over-efforting looks like.
You’re trying. Really trying. Too much.
You’re writing and deleting the same email seventeen times.
You’re stuck on a decision, replaying every scenario in your head.
You’re rehearsing a conversation that hasn’t even happened yet.
You’re rearranging your to-do list for the fifth time… instead of just doing something.
Trying is not bad. But there’s a fine line between engaged and entangled.
And the more energy you pour into “figuring it out,” the more likely it is that you’re cutting yourself off from the very instincts that could move you forward.
So What Do You Do Instead?
You stop gripping.
You return to the simple truth:
Some things don’t require more effort. They require less interference.
Think about how many areas of your life would open up if you loosened your grip just a bit.
What if your job wasn’t to push harder, but to clear the clutter?
What if success didn’t always require a GPS, but a compass?
When you walk down stairs, you don’t instruct your knee to flex at 43°.
When you toss that paper toward the bin, you don’t measure your release velocity.
You know. You move. You trust.
That’s not lazy. That’s evolved.
You have to be wired to know what to do and just do it. For us in Real Estate we know we want to help people find great homes or bring great homes to the. market for our buyers to evaluate for their families.
What is our goal? To toss the paper in the trash can. To do it. To Engage. To have one good conversation a day. Not to Sell XY or Z homes per year or to get a buyer to agree to sign a brokerage agreement only to have em disappear. One good conversation a day. Is that a goal? Probably. Is it 5 year planning. Probably Not. Will it land the paper in the can! yes it will. Walking down stairs is simple.
Try This
Pick one area of your life where you’re applying too much effort.
Just one. Work, parenting, fitness, relationships, business—doesn’t matter. Whatever you feel you are forcing or planning for too much.
Now ask:
Am I trying to control every variable? Why am I measuring every outcome?
Am I mistaking tension for power?
What would this look like if it were simple?
What if I just let go of the crumpled paper?
You might find that all the striving has actually become noise.
That your real power isn’t in the over-analysis, but in the quiet move you already know how to make.
Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is stop aiming so hard—and just throw.